rice...

Tom : I was buying rice last night…and I was buying jasmine fragrance rice. And I thought since they were going to get all fussy with the fragrance they should maybe pair up with fashion labels and make like fashion rice and sell it in clothing stores.

gloves...

Tom : Things feel different with gloves on.

B : hahaha, no kidding?

Tom : I'm serious, they do!

this one time...when my sister was at uni...

Tom : One time, and i know this might be racist or something, but...my sister saw these two muslim girls. You know how they wear drapes and stuff? It makes them look like nuns, but they're like ninja nuns...and you can't see their face? Well, they were taking pictures of each other and I thought "Why bother?!" I mean they both look the same wearing those.

how are you?

Tom : You know, instead of saying "how are you?" People should be more specific, like "How's your skin? or How is your liver doing?"

Yellow Jumpsuits...

Tom : I wish I wore a yellow jumpsuit.

B : What do you mean?

Tom : I just think we should all wear yellow jumpsuits, like at e3 or something.

B : So you mean you wish you were a member of Devo?

Tom : Who's Devo?

B : ... sigh.