pyjamas

Tom : Sometimes when its cold and Im wearing my pijamas, and they dont have pockets... I just stick my hands in the front. (puts hands around groin)

love rich

Tom : Yeah, everything costs money.

B : Not if you're a pirate!

Tom : MM, some day I will build the world so that everything costs love.

D : You'd be the richest man in the world Tom.

...

Tom : I could be your love tutor.

J : The problem is that if you slap heem, he like it.

B : ?!?!?!?!? (Typing)

Tom's brain works in mysterious ways...email.

B : I thought meat based beverages were just NOT going to happen…boy, how wrong was i?
http://forums.egullet.org/index.php?showtopic=91731

--

Tom : My home toilet is not flushing too well lately, and things wash back after flushing…..Looks like someone shited in the glass from first glance…

--

G : It’s like franky.. but asian!

Stop! ... Hammer Time!

B to C : You sent it to hotnail.com? I guess when you have a hammer the world looks enail.
...
A full ten or fifteen minutes pass.

Tom to D : Have you heard that one song with the Hammer? ...and the guy with the pants?

D : You mean MC Hammer, can't touch this? (hums tune)

Tom : Yeah.

B : Oh my god! I said hammer fifteen minutes ago and it bounced around in your head and just now came out!

Tom : So, does having a hammer mean like having a stiffy?

C : No, it means like having a hammer.

D : Tom probably heard someone say "hitting it from behind" once.

Tom : (very disappointed) Oh, well, that would have made Hammer Time much more exciting.

B : ...

...you know those nude bras?

Tom : Hey B. I have a new idea...but you might not like it though.

B : By all means, do tell.

Tom : Well, you know those nude bras they have? They have like plastic that goes around the breast so you don't have those pokey bits?

B : Yes, I have that problem all the time.

Tom : It's so that it looks like you're not wearing a bra. Well, what if they made those for men? It would sort of go down here (motions toward crotch.) And then you could, well, you could wear anything and it would be smooth, like you could wear tight pants.

B : ...

B2 : Like a strap on willy warmer?

B : Tom dude, you are like a clown car for crazy ideas...they just keep coming out.

Kevlar what!?

...A discussion was happening regarding new kevlar technology that hardens the fabric on impact...

Tom : You could make a material that the more you move the more it stiffens up. Then you could make like a condom and you wouldn't need viagra...but that would suck because then you wouldn't be able to pleasure yourself.

B : BLOG!

Tom : Wait, it would work! it wouldn't be a condom it would be something you would inject into the penis. You'd have to have a thing to keep the polymers separate from your cells because you couldn't have a weird chemical film thing in your body. Then as you rubbed it it would get harder. It'd be like an internal condom thing. I should sell that.

B : (typing furiously)

bubble gum quake

Art department standing around talking about their favorite games and how many hours they can play them...

B : Nah, I don't play quake 3 much. It's like bubble gum. I wouldn't eat it for lunch.

Tom : Don't you love it when you fall asleep with bubble gum in your mouth and when you wake up it's gone?

B : What?!

Tom : Your saliva dissolves it and leaves this bad tasting foam.

B : What's to love about that?

Tom : It's not really a love of tasting bad foam but more a nostalgic feeling... a remenance.

(Yes, he said remenance...)